You Take Business Problems Personally And It Is Hurting You: Here Is Why That Happens

A canceled meeting used to feel catastrophic, but now it sometimes feels like the universe quietly handing you your time back.

In this episode of Honest Brew, we talk about the unexpected moments in entrepreneurship that quietly shape the way we operate.The frustration you feel in the moment can end up teaching you how to move through the next challenge with more clarity.

In this episode, we talk about catastrophic thinking and the pressure to take every issue personally. We get into what it looks like to stay grounded when things feel stressful, especially when client emergencies test your boundaries. Because trust is not built by handling everything perfectly. Sometimes, it is built in the way you show up when things get difficult.

Because entrepreneurship is not about avoiding chaos. It is learning how to move through it without losing yourself in the process.

A candid conversation between three seasoned business women who've been in the trenches of entrepreneurship. We bridge the gap between the glamorous just market and sell advice and the reality of what it takes to build a sustainable business. While most business content focuses on marketing, branding, OR operations in isolation, we bring all three worlds together. Because your brand culture needs to live in every system you create, your operations need to support your brand promise, and your marketing needs the infrastructure to deliver on what it sells.

We're here for the solopreneurs ready to grow beyond themselves, the partnership survivors rebuilding stronger, and anyone tired of business advice that treats branding, marketing, and operations as separate planets when they're part of one ecosystem.

HOSTS

Cheale Villa, Visual Caffeine, visualcaffeine.com / Monique Johnson, MoJo Design, ...

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:03

A client just canceled on me with an hour's notice. And my first thought is, thank you, God. We have been doing this long enough to know that the unexpected moments in entrepreneurship aren't the problem. They're the data. This episode, we're getting into the pivots, the surprises, and the curveballs that quietly shape us more than any strategy session ever did. Welcome to Honest Brew. I am Shell with Visual Caffeine.

SPEAKER_00 0:40

I'm Monique from Mojo Design.

SPEAKER_01 0:42

And I am Sarah with Indigo Elephant.

SPEAKER_02 0:44

And if you have ever had something go sideways in your business or realized later it actually was the best thing that could have ever happened, you were at the right place. Because that is what we are diving into today. And I just had 20 years in business of 20 years, 28 years in business. It's been so long I can't even, I can't even get the numbers right anymore. But in 28 years, trust me, there has been a lot of swings and curveballs, and they continue. It's nothing that ever changes. And actually, they're the biggest gifts ever. So, ladies, tell me your biggest gifts ever.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

I remember like at the beginning when I first started mojo design 18 years ago. That's crazy. I used to get nervous if someone canceled suddenly, or there's sort of this unexpected thing, like, what did I do? Or I know it was turned it onto myself, like I did something wrong. And fast forward 18 years and just having going through life and experiences, it really turned into, yeah. Now I got an hour back to my day. And now I can work on all these other things that are on my list and you know, that I haven't done yet. And it's been sitting there for a month. So it's, I think a lot of it is the mindset is quite the right word, but it like knowing that you're you're okay and it's not always your fault. It could have been something on the client's end where, you know, their their cat just died or something. And it's it's just rolling with it a little bit and being okay with it and enjoying that you just got an hour back to yourself.

SPEAKER_01 2:30

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. No, I agree. And definitely when people have to cancel meetings or they're like, can we reschedule this? I'm like, of course you can. Like now I get to do something else. And I also feel like, too, I was just talking literally to Monique about this before we started recording today. When you have like when clients have fires, like when something goes wrong or something happens, is I feel like those are like the quote unquote negative unexpected things. But I feel like I always learn so much from it. Like I will find a workaround, I'll find a solution. And that took me a while to understand that just because it's their emergency doesn't mean it's mine. It doesn't mean they get to bulldoze through boundaries because of this issue. Before I would then were like break my back for it, even if I didn't want to, because I felt like it was my responsibility, which put unnecessary pressure on myself. And so when those unexpected things happen, now it's more of like, okay, thank you for bringing this to my intention. This is how I'll take responsibility for it. Here's a solution. And that creates so much more peace in me. And I feel like I really wouldn't have learned that unless I had these unexpected things happen.

SPEAKER_02 3:43

Yes, I can feel all of what you both are putting down. I remember back before I had the shifts that when something would either go unexpected and um they they couldn't make it way or a server goes down or something like that. In my brain, it was catastrophic. They were gonna tell the whole world about me and they're gonna scare me. I mean, it was like my brain just was so catastrophic about it. And I will say, I think that my ADHD had a lot to do with that, to be honest. But with that said, was I think Monique, you are correct. It's a mindset thing because I know 50 somethings and 60 somethings that still have catastrophic thinking. I I don't think life experience necessarily does it. I think you have to choose differently in the moment. So that was one thing that uh came for me was okay, like no, this I had to remind myself that these things have happened before, they've never been about me at all. Maybe what 2% chance? Like there's always a minor thing that could be, but majority of the time it is not about me. And also that if a crisis happens, like you know, a server going down or something like that, what people care about is that you're taking care of it. Yes, they don't care about the thing that happened, they care about that you hear them and you are taking action. It's just like if you make a mistake, they care about that you admit to the mistake and you say this is how we're going to move forward. Oops, we screwed up, you know. And those are other catastrophic events I can think about that like I used to have very catastrophic thinking with that it was really this is like a little neuroscience for our peeps, but you know, your neuropaths in your brain, when you start choosing a different path, it creates a different path in your neuro. And so eventually by repetition, you will rewire your way of thinking. And I and ultimately I think that is what happens. Now, some of us have worked with coaches, myself, I've worked with coaches. I think Sarah, you've worked with coaches. I'm not sure about you, Monique, but that's a very proactive way to start getting that rewiring happen. Especially helpful for my neurodivergent peeps out there. Um, it's very helpful because your brain just in general wants to work a certain way. With that said, I feel the energy of somebody in this room wanting to say something. I don't know who. I don't know who.

SPEAKER_00 6:26

I just feel a win. I think I just wanted to pile on top of what you were saying that the way that you handle, like even if you caused a fire drill, if you're panicked, your client is gonna be panicked even more because they don't, they're not trusting that you know how to manage the situation. But if you are just supporting them through and you know, saying, yeah, you take accountability and responsibility, and you're like, you know, I've I've worked through this before, and I can tell you X, Y, Z, they are gonna feel like, okay, that it sucked that it happened, but the way that you manage the situation to get out of it is going to instill more trust into you. So I just think that that's a huge part of it. Like we all mess up with humans.

SPEAKER_02 7:19

I think that um that is the value in what we know, almost like that's the reward of us and how we handle things and realizing because even back when I was catastrophic, I had the catastrophic moment, but I got to where I handled it and I moved forward. What I like is the fact that I don't have that catastrophic thing happening anymore. So I think that what everybody has to remember is by being proactive in how you are choosing to react, there's that. Then there are things that in all of our businesses, how we would support people and how we even work in our own businesses, being proactive, then to maybe put things in place that might help reduce something happening again. Not just with that client, but also like, hey, like I think Sarah, you said like what you learned from it. It's like, what did I learn from this that then I can be strategic about in my business when you really think about, okay, when I take this lesson to learn about it, it's not solely in this silo that this has happened. I can put something in place in a lot of different places. But to your point, Monique, relationship does get more solid. One thing I have found actually that really helps with my relationships is the fact that when something is happening, they get a response so fast from us. Like, geez, I've gotten up to go to the bathroom and I look at my phone for a second and I'll see something. Liz is handling it because she's on that side of the world. But I also like will, you know, say, oh my gosh, da-da-da-da-da. And I'll give direction to, you know, Liz or my team members that are handling it, and also get in with my client. And and they're always like, Whoa, like you're awake right now.

SPEAKER_01 9:11

I feel like what comes to mind to me is also like being mindful of not getting defensive. Just kind of like not wanting to deal with something or like wanting to be pushed back. Cause I will say sometimes when things like that happen, people will react emotionally. So it's almost like give them grace, but also give yourself grace if you're feeling a certain way. Because your feelings are valid. However, don't make actions, especially business-wise, from those emotional places. And so for me, when that happens and I feel like myself getting stressed out and like wanting to react, I try my best to pause because yeah, I want to react to fix it. But once I've said reacting doesn't actually solve it because I'm being emotional, not being like, okay, this happened. This is maybe where I messed up, or like, oh, here are the other factors that are in it. How can I take care of this? Let the client know. And I've even gone above and beyond before to be like, hey, you know what? This was on me. Let me do these extra things to ensure this goes smoothly. It doesn't mean I'll do it every single time, but this is a scenario of I'm not going to make you do more work because of a technological error or because customer service is taking their sweet ass time to get back.

SPEAKER_02 10:23

Right. So that that's so like refined your problem solving. Like that's one thing that I would say this kind of associates with the next question I have for you guys. I would say one of the things that it's helped the most is problem solving. And the fact that, you know, dealing with stuff technology way back in like, you know, 1998. It's amazing. The lessons by back then actually really support how we deal with things now. And also as an appreciation of how things are now, there is something to old school knowledge that allows for current times problem solving. So, what unexpected moments have you actually seen shift your brand or your offer or how you operate?

SPEAKER_00 11:09

Ooh, I got one. Sometimes you are in the middle of a project and it's going well, and I a new idea is spun off from that current project. And you're like, ooh, that's juicy. Either we increase the scope of the current project or we just make it a new project. And so the scope of that, of your the work that you're doing for that particular client increases. That happens, I would say more than not, actually. But it's always it's refreshing knowing that, okay, well, they they know and trust me as much as they do to extend the work further, or a client even come a repeat client, like coming back. Those are kind of two scenarios that as soon as you ask that question that popped in mind.

SPEAKER_01 11:56

For me, and it's more like how I personally operate is not always having to have a loop closed. Like I very much always like loops closed, like, oh, you don't want to work with me? That's great. Like, let me know. Or like the project's done. Are we continuing? Are we not? Let me know. And I found that just because someone maybe says no now doesn't mean they won't say no later. Like they may come back to me, or just because I wasn't a fit for them, they have someone else who's actually a better fit kind of thing. And so I feel for me, what I've learned is to be more open and flexible to how opportunity comes to me. Like maybe it'll expand how I want to work, or maybe I've been like, oh, I would really like to work with more agencies. What would that look like? Being open to all of those things, I feel like has helped me problem solve better, serve clients better, and just feel overall more peace because there's no rigidity anymore. It's kind of like this is my process. I'm gonna honor my process, but if they never respond to me, that's okay. That's not my problem. They might respond later and they usually do, and they're like, Oh, I'm so sorry, I was dealing with XYZ.

SPEAKER_02 13:00

Yeah, I found actually uh through the years that if if uh I'm meant to work with someone, I don't need to pressure them. It's meant to happen. And honestly, I've chosen those paths of trying to pressure someone into working with me, and it's always been the absolute worst client situation where someone in there is getting fired, and it's usually me firing them. So I I just have learned that like if this is meant to happen, I think all of us work in industries where someone has to be ready for that work and they also have to be ready to work with you in it, and that makes the most magical things happen. The other thing is I this is actually I learned this quite early in my business because I am an on the table person. I know nobody knows this about me. I know it's a massive secret that I just keep myself and don't say things. I think even our audience would know that that's not true. But anyway, but I did learn, thankfully, that to truly advocate for my clients is speaking up and telling them where they think they should go is not the right way for them. It's always in a very nice way, but it's just to me, I see it as advocating for my client. And sometimes it means I'm getting less work out of it. Sometimes it means that we have to have a hard conversation. But the fact is, at the end of the day, that's another thing that really strengthens a relationship and trust. Totally. I mean, I have echoes still in my head of clients saying to me, Wow, Shell, tell me what you really think. So I've gotten more tact. Sometimes my clients really love, I call it a love punch. And since we have a word for it, it's taken much easier. Ultimately, ultimately, chaos does not mean that you are in a sign of doing something wrong. Just remember that one of the biggest mistakes we actually make is making ourselves wrong all the time. That is probably one of the biggest lessons I have learned. Um, and that's not saying I've never been wrong, but I am wrong plenty. And that's the thing. Make space for the all the time you are wrong. Because yeah, you know, you don't need to make you don't need to create new ones. We all have our moments, right? But that's a permission slip I want to give uh out of today's episode. And I want, before going into last sips, I want to have our brood lasting quote, or I should say the impact quote. Maybe this is the the caffeine spike of the edge. The most important lessons in entrepreneurship don't come with a warning, they come with a canceled meeting, a lost client, or a pivot you didn't plan. And they're usually exactly what you needed. And with that, less sips.

SPEAKER_01 15:57

What comes to mind for me, and I hope you guys take away this as well, is entrepreneurship or being a business owner is about being flexible, it's about being okay in the chaos, about welcoming the unexpected, being comfortable in the unknown because it is gonna happen. We don't know what's always happening in our clients' lives, our leads' lives, even in our own. So, like having that grace for the beautiful blessings like a canceled meeting, but also the learning opportunities when there is a client fire and you have to hop in and handle it. It's just either way, it's building resilience and it's building character.

SPEAKER_02 16:35

Beautiful as always. And thank you for being here and embrace the unknown. Have a good one.